The Long Run of a PhD
#scenesfromarun - a frozen winter Chicago run, to be specific. Man I love this city and this lakefront.
I've been told time and time again that grad school is "a marathon, not a sprint". A PhD takes 5+ years to complete, and a healthy dose of patience and perseverance- yeah, I get it. I've recently discovered, however, that the parallels to running run way deeper. Unlike in team sports, no one is pushing you to run faster or farther, and it is of no consequence if you slow down or simply stop. Starting out my research for my PhD felt exactly the same. Unlike in undergrad, or my first and second years of grad school in which I completed my coursework, there are no homework deadlines or upcoming exams. For the first long while of just straight up research - no classes, no teaching, just me and my laptop - it felt like pace was arbitrary. Finding a way to keep myself moving and motivated looked very similar in my research as it did in my running...
I've become somewhat of a regular runner over the last year. It started with a friend suggesting a bunch of pals do a marathon together as a college reunion last fall, so we shrugged, said "ok" and started training. Running wasn't new to me though - I had my first running phase when I spent a summer in La Jolla, CA. I was hooked, and couldn't believe I had spent the first 22 years of my life without running. All through high school I played a lot of sports that contained running, but I just couldn't understand a sport where there was no ball (or puck), where literally all you did was run. Like, why? But I learned just why in California - beautiful scenery and endorphins make for a great time, and it's a great way to declutter the mind. After that, I was kind of off and on for the next couple of years, willing myself to love running again. My measurement of how much I enjoy running is how quickly I forget that I'm running while running. I signed up for a half marathon in 2015 with some grad school friends, but never ended up running more than 6 miles in my training because I just wasn't loving it. I still did the half though, almost as a mental test - I advise you to run more than 6 miles if you intend to race 13.1! That was a rough recovery...anyway...
At the finish line with Jared and friends from college. Such a great experience! I'm thinking about running it again this year.
This time though, while training for the Boulder Backroads 2017 marathon throughout spring, summer and fall, I did find myself consistently loving running. I'd get lost in my thoughts on a 10+ mile run (not always, but enough to keep me training). Yet, after the marathon in October, my running yet again slowed waaaaay down. I probably averaged 1-2 runs a month from October through December.
BUT THEN. I started the year with a training plan*, despite zero races on the calendar. That's the thing - if I don't have a something telling me to run, it's so easy to say "Well, I planned to run 3 miles today, but I worked a full day, and then Susie wanted to share some pie at Hoosier Mama and #whynot and #treatyoself, and well now the sun is down and I don't like running in the dark. What's the harm in doing that run tomorrow?" Well "tomorrow" for me inevitably becomes two weeks later or...never.
It occurred to me on my run this morning that this is exactly how I function as a PhD student. Where there isn't structure, I need to build it for myself. I finished classes and TAing (mostly) two years ago in June 2016, which means I have been doing full-time research ever since. "Full-time research" as an applied mathematician means lots of 1-on-1 time with my laptop and zero structure. ZERO. So, much like my running, I make a schedule; a training plan if you will. On Monday afternoon, I go to colloquium. On Tuesdays, I go to the Neurobiology seminar. On Wednesdays, I have a Quantitative Biology group meeting (ok, that's actually scheduled - so I have one hour of structured time). On Mondays and Thursdays, I spend some time in the ceramics studio (though I have not been on top of that this quarter...). On Fridays I have student tea. You get the picture.
What also was critical for me was setting up regular meetings with my advisor. My advisor is very laid-back, which has its pros and cons. I used to wait forever before going to ask for help because I worried my questions were too small, and I needed multiple small questions to legitimize a meeting, etc. Well once we started meeting every week (or every other, depending on the quarter), my productivity improved a TON. Some grad students thrive on self-sufficiency, on working on their own until they get something, and the confidence that finding produces. I don't understand these people, but props to them. I, on the other hand, simply do not. I work much better under deadlines. Though I don't have exams or homework assignments due anymore, and my only real deadlines are abstract submission dates for conferences or the occasional student fellowship deadline, I set up these regular meetings so that I can use them as what I call "fake deadlines." Is it really that bad if something I hoped would work doesn't work before meeting my advisor on Friday? No, but I'll still be healthily frustrated or disappointed in myself, which'll push me to not repeat at the next meeting. Is it really that bad to miss an easy run because a New Trier girls hockey game got scheduled that morning and I literally had no time before that game to run? (I'm an assistant coach for the team). Nah, I'll just do a morning and afternoon run tomorrow (but actually do it, because otherwise I won't hit my 20 miles, and also my training plan gives me a little "✔️" next to my workout upon completion. It's the little things...).
At the start of my third year, when dat young unstructured life started, sometimes I'd have some appointment, or meet someone for coffee, or sleep through my alarm for 2 hours, and start my work day at 11am. Then when 5pm would roll around, though I knew I didn't work a full day, it completely 100% did not make a difference whether I continued at 5pm that day or started again at 9am (or 11am) the next morning. What's another day when there 1000 more unstructured days ahead of me before I finish my PhD?
What's another day when there is a lifetime ahead of me to makeup those 3 miles? Well, not much if I'm comparing to the rest of my PhD or the rest of my life. But if I want to have something to show my advisor by Friday, or if I want to hit 20 miles this week, then I can't keep putting this off!
So people, no more "I'll do it tomorrow". Go get your butt out there (or onto your office chair?) and get to business!!
*I'll finish with my specific fitness watch and training. A little unsolicited advice: if you're into running or general fitness and looking for a fitness watch, I got the Garmin Vivoactive 3 fitness watch (see right) two months ago, and I. am. obsessed. It is probably what made my return to running so smooth. I switched from the Fitbit Blaze, and for only a $70 price difference, I cannot believe how much more this little gadget does. I picked a training plan through Garmin Connect, and that plan is now synced directly with my watch. So if I have a run scheduled for today, I just hit "run" on my watch, and it'll pull up my scheduled workout and say "do this workout?"
Build things into your life that convenience your good habits! The equivalent tool I've found for grad school scheduling is the Bullet Journal - more on that later 🤓
Thanks for reading, and Happy Weekend!
#scenesfromarun has become my favorite hashtag. From left to right: Diversey Harbor in Chicago, Invesco field in Denver (where I run when not in Chicago), frozen Chicago along the Lakefront Trail, and Jared when he joined me on the Lakefront Trail for a 20-miler, our last long run before the Boulder Backroads Marathon.